Day 61 – What life means to me

I don’t want to say with this that I am perfect, that I am in every part of me, doing what is best for all, probably I won’t ever be completely that, perfect. And I don’t want to be in a chase for perfection, I want to do what I can with what I have, and within that I am supporting this world inmensely.

So, I sometimes, now that I am here, inside myself, I sometimes feel things, I am going to explain some of them now. I believe that we all are support, the real self of everybody is support for themselves and this world. So, now that I am here, the self-supportive vertion of myself, the one that wants to grow, that wants to have the biggest heart he can possibly deserve, for the whole existence, the one that is invincible because he is ruled by the laws of truth, honesty, and so he has learnt from where does he come from and how to never be defeated, even if it’s the most challenging road of our lives. So now that I am here, the real me, the one that I once was, the one that is commited, the one that will face the existence where he is living, now that I am here, I can create anything I possibly desire so, what do I do in this moment? For example, in one moment I was thinking only about feeeling myself, about giving myself a whole moment of honesty to just see and perceive my surroundings because, even if it seems unreal, distant, what if one day I am not here anymore and it was very, very important for me to simply be in a moment, unconditionally, and watch everything, a reality, feel it, be it, just be one with all this moment of existence, is there anything wrong with this thought? No. Why seems less real that I decide that for myself for that moment? What if I really in fact one day watch that moment and I can remember how it felt, and know that I experimented the reality of it? I want my life full of moments like that, moments that seem meaningless for most of people if you talk about them, but in my personal life, my story, the one that only exists in me, it’s important for me to do that so, who can even say an opinion about that? I am the one that is going to die someday, me, so I must see things in life from my perspective, I came here alone and I will leave alone.

Who decided that there are more important thoughts than others? That some of them are more real, and some of them are not? I am going to tell you what I think. It’s like if people, all of us, had a third person in ourselves, that is “the way that most of people see it”, and I remember how I implanted that in myself when I was very young. I remember being sitted in my room, and noticing “oh, there has been a change in my solitute, people judge me, so now I am alone and I behave like if they were seeing me, that’s okay”. This is how it happened to me, and I see a lot of people who judge their thoughts according to that. And it’s not something original, it’s something we accept, because this world is this world, and we are afraid of being alone in this world, but we are here for that, to change it, to support it. I have learnt how to not judge my thoughts, and to learn how to do that, I must start judging them, because I am already judging them. Tricky isn’t it? The reality for me, is that each thought has its own story to tell, there are not thoughts more important than others, every one of them will give something to the final result, and if you want an advice, you must look within yourself if you are looking at thoughts from your own perspective, being a free being, or it’s the perspective that you have accepted to be accepted by others. One of the two was original to you, the other one doesn’t even make us happy sometimes, it’s simply a way of fitting in this world.

For me live is something that I live alone in my mind. With everyone, but alone. Honesty is brought in solitute.

So now I find myself with nothing else to say in relation to this, so, I LOVE listening to music!!!! It’s like I need to release some energy so I listen to the music and a whole complete universe of passion takes me over to destroy me even more! I love that sentence hahahaha why do I say destroy? Because when I dance, when I create art, it’s not something like… 1 + 1 = 2, that’s something logical, it’s follow an order, you can understand it, learn it. But when I create art it’s like 1   5        6               0           19  1, and my mind and my systems will always tell me no!! Don’t leave me! Be in 1 + 1!! There you know yourself, you can controll. And I say noooo!!! I am going to release myself and expand into the unknown and see who I can become. And then I have concerts, and in concerts, well, not even in the concerts, in life in general, for example the other day I got to know a kid of 8 years old that I am teaching guitar now, we were in front of his dads, and he wanted to sing, so I just started to play a song he knows, and when he started to sing, I helped him open himself even more, with the next chord even more, and one more step, and one more, and he sang amazingly good!! It was like if I was helping him with my openess to open himself! And there we created art, something that you can’t controll. It’s goes fast and it flows with no direction yet it does, and you are exposed, and if I say the truth in those moments I feel inmortality, I feel that everything can be created in there, anything I desire, and what I desire in those moments it’s to become the person I have ever dreamed of!! So that kid it’s an example, the most obvios example is the concerts, in the concerts you are with your friends going for that, to open more and more and with the music and the feelings and it’s just PURE MAGIC!!!!! Music can be a hard road of a profession, but I just have no choice in here, I love it!! And there is people that support the world with that, for example a song I love, Wasted years from Iron Maiden, it’s a song that opens your heart with the music, and then helps you with the lyrics, it’s just perfect. That’s what I am dedicating my live to, right now I am simply playing commercial music… but still amazing!!

So, that’s all, and it’s not just with the music, it’s life showing the potential to share with others, and the strenght you can become if you commit yourself to be honest, to share with others, to not judge them, to help everyone, to protect yourself from people that want to hurt you because they are lost with themselves and didn’t manage to guide themselves… to create balance, to enjoy doing whatever you want to do!

Cya!!

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