Day 73 – What real-time application means

Hello, I am going to talk right now about what I know is real time application within myself.

I’ll start by saying that I am not this, forever. Why not? Because I am very used to work through my mind. My mind is something automatic, it’s been there for so many years, that it starts working without me noticing. But even if I am working through the mind and it has started automatically, I always feel the same while I am in those moments. “Somebody help me I am trapped”. This sentence will be manifested with a, sensation of, what I am living right now, the story I have in my mind, doesn’t support me, it’s sucking out the resources of my body, I don’t even know why I am thinking about this particular thought in this way, it’s pointless. Why it’s pointless? Because it doesn’t support me, and it’s not my purpose. It’s a way of consuming my life, with mind stories, and not only that, I consume my life to not achieve anything, because I am not working to support my real eternal self-expression, I am working to feed this automatic mechanism that I have been using my whole life. It’s like, the mental door to my mind. Through there, you can see my whole mind, with all its different ways and forms, but in every one of them the same signature, the signature of my mind, my life, my energies, my memories, my traumas. When I come here to write myself, I most of the times come when I am myself. Myself feels like, a way of functioning in this world, in the totality of this world, my reality, that feels like if it had graze. Like if you could see everything from a third person point of view, and everything was what it is, simply what it is. And it’s so simple, I feel so alive, there is no more “This is beautiful so it’s hard to believe”, it’s simply moments where I give myself the luxury of just being here, letting the problems go, letting the obligations of my mind go, and I am simply here, in one moment. That moment feels very thin, it’s very small, it is simply the moment that I am existing in, but it’s in fact the absolute expression of my beingness. I am currently in my process, guiding every part of my mind back to myself, to the being that is me, the one that is not divided in pieces. It’s something difficult, that with the time it’s getting more and more simple. Also what happens is, one day I am myself, I feel this very same thing I am expressing now, this life that doesn’t seem to run out, and other day I am anxious, or I am simply working a lot in my mind because I feel I need to suffer. And it’s not a conscious decition, it’s the very automatic mechanism I said previously: “the story I have in my mind, doesn’t support me, it’s sucking out the resources of my body, I don’t even know why I am thinking about this in this way, it’s pointless”. So, this mechanism is where I go in my mind, when I am “normal”, when I am not focused, when I am distracted, when I just start something new suddenly, when the same story I have already faced repeats itself, when I forget my key, when I believe I have no solution because I have believed for so long that I have no solution and not only that, I have made sure that I would limit and asphyxiate myself to make things even harder because I have fear, I have fear of standing for my honesty because I am alone and lost, so I would asphyxiate myself to have the less chances to break free from the patterns. This would happen in this way, I would try to break free without doing it in real time application, and I would obviously fail and end  up giving the power of my reality to my mind, and then when I am again my honest self, I would say “no I am not this, there is no way that I am my honesty, because I have already tried to go through this way to try to break free from this toxic mind but I saw that there was no escape from this nightmare so the honest way (that should and that will be created if I ever want to be real) it’s closed in this direction”

So, there is a joyfull, funny, GREAT!, cool, and awesome perspective also. And it’s that, I am who I want to be, specially if I want to do what is best for all, because I like that purpose. And it’s not hard to believe, because this life is not a punishment, it’s a challence, and I want to give my 100% in that challence, and prove to myself how worthy I am of myself.

There are more perspectives about this, for example. When I have been a long period of time listening to my mind, listening to the voice that whispers “You are trapped… there is no solution… accept it…”, it’s me in fact who has the responsability, and it’s me in fact who is doing my actions, and it’s me in fact who decides that I am not going to be honest in this moment, because I have been blaming me for the energies for a so long of period of time, than if I just changed the direction now, to the total opposite, it would be like… oh man, really? It’s hard to accept. The point, and fact, is that I never regret doing it.  So this is why I only come to this blog to share my honesty, because if I share other things, I can regret it. I want to bring here only what I will never regret. It sometimes feels too good to be true lol but I have to accept it, when I am focused and self-centered I am not myself, I am superior to that, I am a bigger potential to express life.

So, when I manage to have moments free of everything, moments when my mind and my world just fits, nothing affects me, because I see it before it gets too close, and I understand it and direct it, when I manage to that, it’s not longer a matter of me choosing to do in the moments of my life what pleases me the most, what gives me the fun, it’s rather like… right now, I am so free, I see so clearly, that I am satisfied with anything, with the smallest thing. And then, I start to do things that feed my soul, my intelligence, that make me a more responsable person for everything and everyone, and my life goes in the right direction.

And, I don’t judge people so much, because it’s like, for example, if this person is being so arrogant towards me, if this person is presenting herself so superior and overconfident, it’s just the mindset that she has, even if she is using that against me, to attack me or humiliate me, it means that deep inside her she is a more sensitive person, a more emotional person, more than she is probably aware of, and she had to create this disbalance in his mind, she had to become this absolutely arrogant person to hide or supress that, so she could see herself as someone different, as a person who has what she is lacking of. And well, you are using it against me, but that’s fine, it’s just your mindset, I don’t see why would I react to you. Specially, when I am the same inside myself. I am also a mind.

The conclussion. What is real-time application? It can be as simple as allowing your true simple nature to be expressed, without blame, with a deep wise acceptance and kindness towards yourself.

So this is it, I have a big fun when I express myself. Because you know, in my beingness my reality happens and it’s there, but expressing it in real time in the blog and making it simple to understand it’s other story.



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