Day 93 – Why I am quitting videogames

This is the blog of a person, just like you, with his own intelligence, that decides to explain how videogames work in the mind and then take a decition.

I’ll first share my history. When I was a child, I had difficult times at home, and it was not just my home, my soul, I couldn’t rely on it. Meaning, I was not there to take care of myself, I was like, in the danger, unprotected, I would never want to support myself, I didn’t even know what that was, and also my home and my world were a mess. I never liked school, I didn’t see a purpose, I couldn’t find a meaning to it. However, while I was growing I always kept alive within me the feeling of, no matter where I am, no matter what I am doing, I can learn anywhere anytime. So it’s not that I haven’t learnt in my life, it’s that I didn’t have a proper schooling system, or parents to show me the direction. And you know, children are borned with no direction, so I am not going to blame myself for anything, what I needed was to be shown what purpose is, I was child, and all I could do was follow my mind.

So, I never enjoyed school. I learnt from life, enjoyed the plants and the beach and the sun and there was not a single moment of my life where I was not learning, even when I was all day playing videogames. Since I didn’t like school because I couldn’t find a meaning to it, specially not in the way it was taught, since I was able to make the whole classroom laugh, but I was never able to love myself, since my parents showed me to hate myself and the allowed it, and since I was lacking self-direction, what else there was left for me. Seriously, a child is not going magically to be a good person and enjoy your presence, a child needs support if he is lost, that’s why he is a child. In videogames I found support, I found myself. It was something unconditional, it would be always there for me, to go there and support myself to have a good time. It was the only thing I felt that supported myself. Maybe this is why when I was a child, I would look at artists, musicians and singers, with admiration. I would feel their support just by watching them play, I instantly admired them, I felt atracted.

So I have learnt literally nothing from school, and even if I had, for what?! It was a complete waste of time, what did my friends learn from accepting the school and the system and the teachers? Everybody should have gone to videogames!! Just what purpose there was in the classrooms? I could enjoy the company of my friends, but I knew that the system was not my friend, and I just didn’t allow it, I prefered to sing my own song, by myself, rather than being there pretending that I enjoy something I don’t. Then with time I found guitars and music but that’s another story.

Videogames are based on, your energy. You are playing with yourself, it’s your own inspiration, your own will to exist. When we exist we exist according to a law, to an effect, it’s impossible to exist without that, if you exist you can explain your effect, and I mean you can deny that, but it will be the law of no-effect and that’s non-sense and crazy. Videogames are your life, your joy, that’s why you are attracted to them, they stop your mind, they give you access to the life essense. And our purpose is with that life essense itself, what we desire, the only thing we desire, is aligning ourselves with that. Do you think we can ever desire something else? We can’t. That’s our truth, if we exist, we want to understand our own existence, it’s our destiny. Every one of us denied this at a certain point of our life. So, to anything that shows you your life force, you will feel an atraction. And that by itself it’s not bad, we are in this life to express ourselves, the mind works based on the goods and the bads, we all feel it, our responsability is, are we supporting ourselves? Or are we drowning into the mind slavery? The truth is, we don’t need the joy, that’s like hell, and videogames are a hell, you don’t need them, you can be happy without them, literally, you are going to be happy without them, even more. Happiness it’s not about the joy, the reward, it’s about a state where you are in peace with yourself, you have no debts left or, at least, you are not creating more. And life will give you everything, the mind is always so relative you know, self-direction is what is going to guide you.

As a conclution, even if you don’t need them, even if you can learn more by being sitted in a chair with yourself doing nothing, I also believe you can learn more from the videogame. And I hope someday we have videogames to trully learn something usefull, like a game about musical harmony, I’d buy that.

Life gives you everything, you want to come to this sentence, don’t let yourself get distracted with momentary joy, you are here for something big!

 

P.S: There are certain games, even if they are few, that are absolutely amazing from an artistic point of view, from the maps to the story to the combat style, everything, they are real pieces of art. What I am saying with this blog is, I won’t play useless games to spend my free time, I will play very little weekly after working, to the games that I know that are a genuine pieces of art and are not focused on the reward, instead they create just another form of art. And always paying attention to the movements inside of myself, if I experience something while I am playing that is not alligned with myself, any reaction, it means I am playing the wrong way.

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