Day 158 – Prettending to be someone else

I have always done this. In honour to the truth, I was raised in such a way that I was highly rewarded if I lied to myself in some sense and accepted that I was wrong, and reward when I was what the other person wanted me to be, but this has no reason to be here I am just saying because it is one more aspect of my truth. So what I’d do is see who the other person desires me to be, and then use my potential, which is a lot, to enslave myself to that, this I’d all do it without noticing because really, we human beings don’t know the extend of depth of our minds and personallity, and it’s quite deep. So I’d go into that and that way it doesn’t matter what happens after that, if I become pointless, I suffer, I lie, I allow dishonesties to exist, and I feed other people, it doesn’t matter, all that matters is that with my relationship I’ve managed to aconplish the desire I wanted. Which was to be liked, or to get a job, or anything that I want, but please understand, when you reads these words you may believe that I in fact did these things, and in some way I did, but it was so deep that I would have never imagined myself saying these words, because, they make me weak! Why would I talk about this? I always have the desire of making this dark truth as less dark as possible, or explain it as briefly as possible, because if I allow myself to expand in all dymentions of it… then… well people, or even myself, may think that I am this dark! And darkness is not cool, so I will not allow myself to say one more word than it’s needed to explained it!! BUT! If it is positive, I’ll expand in so many ways, I’ll invent so much shit lol because being cool is not like being the darkess I hide and not allow myself to express without judgement or fredom from what others think of me or I think of myself as self-image 😉 But the point is, I did all these things to get things, and nothing of it was worth it, nothing, not the money, or the acceptance of people who hated me, it was all for nothing, I can get so much more from being myself, and it’s not only for myself, but something honestly good for everyone, and I can support people and myself which is something I really enjoy. So my advice for myself, as for the reader is, don’t sacrifice your good intentions to make this world a better place, for your desires. It’s not worth it, it will make you a slave, to the things you are desiring, and not only that but it will be all for nothing. On the other hand, if your starting point is honest, you may sometimes get what you are after, and other times not, since you will not be focused on the chase of that goal, but you will be so cool because you will think you yourself are cool because you know you have value within yourself, real value. Real value is the real money, and the real thing everybody is chasing within themselves. So don’t let anybody take it away from you, and use it for the benefit of everybody, just, why not?


One thought on “Day 158 – Prettending to be someone else

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  1. Hey Raúl was just translating a life review that relates to this topic, the name in english is You See What I Want You to See – Life Review but it will be published today in spanish as Ves Lo Que Quiero Que Veas – Revisión de Vida – check it out and keep an eye tomorrow for the follow up which is Stop Your Spiteful Thoughts – Life Review


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